Our little miracle is here

Baby Elliot is here and he has stolen our hearts. I am completely in love with our baby boy.

Sleep deprivation, round the clock feedings, 3 in the morning feedings are all sweeter because we worked so hard for him.

We feel so blessed to have him in our lives!

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

Contemplating on the days to come....

I pray that I will never forget the heartache and hardships we went through to get to this point. During the sleepless nights to come, the exhaustion, the unexpected, the joy and love...may I never forget. God is faithful and good.

I love these words.

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort,
without thought, without patience or loss and though
they are good mothers and love their children, I know
that I will be just as good a mother.

It will be not because of genetics, or money or
that I have read more books but because I have
struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have
appreciation are those who have struggled to attain
their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and
discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for
the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night
to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort,
hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take
another temperature, pop another pill, take another
shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be
crying for me.

I count myself blessed in this sense; that God has given
me this insight, this special vision with which I will
look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a
child that God leads me to, I will not be careless
with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter,
neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my
own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many
never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from
their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see
it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it
less lonely. I have learned the immense power of
another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that
moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and
when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion
that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

~Author Unknown

More Pics

Our ottoman and glider. This is also our reading nook.

Our Neo:

His coming home outfit:

All that's missing is Neo. Can't wait!

Nursery Pics

9 1/2 Months and counting

I am 9 1/2 months pregnant...waiting for our little boy.

Seems as though he is content in me and not ready to come out just yet. This is fine with me because I've loved being pregnant. I've enjoyed and remembered to be grateful for each second of it. I was born for this!

Everything is ready for his arrival. Car seat is installed, nursery is done, laundry is clean and folded. We have everything in place now. I started my maternity leave 1 1/2 weeks before my due date, in case I would go earlier. My job is 40-45 minutes away from the hospital so I didn't want to take a chance.

Now, I'm just taking it slow and waiting for the big day. It's seems so hard to believe that after everything we've been through...our little guy is almost here.

I've been taking this time to just reflect on how far we've come. Interestingly enough, as we were running around this past weekend getting last minute things, our clinic called to get an update on us. They wanted to know if we had already delivered. I have to say hearing the nurses' voice again and knowing we were speaking under different circumstances got me all choked up. It doesn't take much.

I know people say that time heals all wounds but mine are still fresh...it makes me so incredibly grateful to be where we are right now.

I am so grateful to God. A year ago today we were getting ready to start our second round of IVF that would lead to another negative result. Today, we are waiting for our precious miracle to arrive. As I'm writing this, he is kicking and moving...it's as if he can feel the utter happiness and joy that is floating around him.

Neo, soon we will meet you and get to see your beautiful face. Mommy and Daddy love you more than words can say.

Feeling so incredibly grateful...

I sit here reflecting on this journey and feel so incredibly grateful to be pregnant. This little miracle growing and moving inside me. Everyday I feel his kicks and his gentle pressure and I feel like I'm walking in a dream. I longed so much to be at this place....I am so happy!

God is so good! Everyday I wake up and look at my belly and send a prayer of thankfulness to God for this gift.

I absolutely love being pregnant!!! I feel fantastic but even if I didn't you wouldn't hear me complaining. I have waited my whole life to be exactly where I am today so I am soaking every minute of this miracle.

On a funny note, I have developed a very interesting relationship with bathrooms...i will literally scour any location for one. The last bathroom I went to consisted of a basement/back room dungeon looking bathroom in a mini-mart. I am finding this to be quite funny! Gotta do what I gotta do! : )

I've been waiting to fill one of these out!

How far along: 24th Week

Total Weight Gain: 14 lbs

Symptoms: I LOVE being pregnant so far be it for me to start listing things that are just part of pregnancy but...heartburn comes and goes in waves but only at night time. Other than that, I feel fantastic.

Maternity Clothes: Yes...definitely need to now. There is no hiding this pregnant belly! Thanks to my bestie and my sister in law I have not had to buy much! I did buy some maxi dresses though b/c I always loved the way they looked but I always saw them as maternity style. I couldn't do that and risk people wondering if I was or not. Too painful! But NOW I will be rocking these dresses!

Stretch Marks: No! Thank goodness! I'm lathering up!

Sleep: Is better now that I have added my friend, the body pillow. I have woken up on several occasions with leg cramps. Not fun!


Best Moment Last Week: We've slowly been receiving clothes and other hand me downs over the last couple of weeks. One of the things we received was a little bouncer, which my niece used when she was a baby. Well I sat and looked at the bouncer and I lost it. I started crying at the realization that we are really in this place...we are going to be parents. My husband and I are so grateful to be at this point. I feel so thankful and blessed.

Movement: All the time and I LOVE IT!!!!

Food Cravings: ICE CREAM!!!

What I Miss: Nothing compares to this...I can sacrifice whatever I need to!

What am I looking forward to: I'm just enjoying and soaking in every minute of this pregnancy.

Milestones: Hmmm...we have begun talking about the baby shower....

How is Daddy? He is so excited...he keeps making plans. I love it when he places his hand on my belly and talks to Neo. I just can't wait for him to be a daddy!

I'm so in love....

I realize I've been walking around in love. It is hard to concentrate. It is hard to think about other things. I'm so in love.

I love my baby so much and I haven't even met him/her yet. It's pretty amazing. I walk around with the knowledge of this miracle growing inside me.

Pregnancy is miraculous...all the things that need to happen. It makes one realize that every life is a miracle...not to be taken for granted.

I've been feeling the baby move and my heart fills with love...my eyes fill with tears. After all the heartbreak and pain, it feels so wonderful to feel our miracle baby moving inside me.

We are so grateful. I'm beginning to allow myself to think/dream/hope beyond today.

We went last Monday to our 20 week ultrasound and everything is looking good. We wanted to find out the sex of the baby but be able to have an authentic experience so we asked the ultrasound tech to write down the sex in a paper which we placed in an envelope. We went home and opened the envelope together. It was so cool doing it this way...we were able to be comfortable & experience all the emotions and reactions in our home (and capture our reaction on video).

So....Neo is a....BOY!

We are so happy! I knew it was a boy. I guess my mother's intuition is in check!

So in love w/ our baby boy!

What? Really? How come no one ever mentioned this?

What? Really? How come no one ever mentioned this?

So I went in for my appt. w/ my ob thinking it had been a month since I saw Neo and I was excited.

We walk in to the examination room and there is no sonogram machine. When my doctor came in I asked her where the machine is? are we not seeing Neo today?

She said, no. The next time we will see Neo will be at the 20 week scan. Then if everything, God willing, is okay that will be it. What???

Why have I assumed all this time that you can see your baby everytime you had a doctor's visit??? Why has no one ever mentioned this?

No wonder I've heard of people paying for sonograms...ay!

Well, this settles it...we will definitely be getting a 3D-4D ultrasound!

I realize that if we don't need additional ultrasounds, than that's an indication that everything is okay. I'm not complaining just completely and utterly surprised!

In any case we have 3 more weeks before we see Neo once more.

Here is our last ultrasound:

Under Construction...

A New Season in My Life calls for a new look for my blog.

Pardon the appearance. : )